On the day of arrival, I feel anxious. I am tense and unsure about my decision. I look at my child and tears come to my eyes – I don't want to leave my family. But a voice whispers to me that this is exactly what I have to do now. This inner resistance shows me the way. I only hear a whisper echoing constantly inside me that I am in the right place. When my family drops me off at the ashram, I am nervous, but still completely with myself. There is a reason why I am here, even if I am not yet able to fully comprehend it. While I'm still sitting in the car, I see a young woman with colourful clothes standing in the garden and a little girl. She is playing happily on the grass. My eyes linger on this child. You can see straight away that she is a mixture of two cultural worlds.
The young woman greets me wholeheartedly with a warm smile, gives me a brief tour of the ashram and shows me my room. Her attention is immediately drawn to my amulet, which shows the sun and the moon. “What a beautiful necklace, I really like it,” she smiles deeply, looking graceful but sincere at the same time. She somehow reminds me of a fairy. I hold my necklace tightly and feel slightly uncomfortable. The next few days would change my inner world.

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Leni Sharma

Anna-Lena Sharma is 31 years old, but everyone calls her Leni. She comes from Austria, near Salzburg, and grew up in the middle of the Alps. "It was simply wonderful to grow up in nature, surrounded by mountains. We children were always out in the forest playing," her eyes are shining as she talks about that time. She is the youngest of four siblings – the sunshine of the family and her cheerful personality makes everyone happy. Even as a child, Leni is very sensitive, perceptive and notices things that no one else can see or feel. Her potential was not recognized at the time. She is very careful how she shows and expresses herself. However, a loyal companion accompanies Leni even as a girl – art. She has always been very creative and always wants to create something with her hands: she is always tinkering and making something new. This feeling has never gone away and is with Leni constantly. At the age of 13, she really wanted to become a sculptor. Later, Leni applied three times to the Mozarteum University in Salzburg – one of the most renowned art colleges in Europe. But she was rejected each time. As a result of the rejections, she developed the belief that she would not be an artist. She simply can't do it. For a while, Leni did nothing artistic at all. In Salzburg, she studies communication sciences and biology instead, something seemingly reasonable, but she still feels a strong attraction to art.

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Leni has short hair that falls like silk, glistening down to her shoulders. Her fairy-like presence, which expresses a certain innocent childishness, contrasts mystically with her intense brown eyes, which seem to reveal an infinite depth. Something about her seems powerful. Her eyes seem like eagle eyes that can see much more than humans are actually capable of. Nevertheless, I feel safe in her presence, not judged or anything like that. I can simply be.
But I still don't know why exactly I'm here. Of course, first and foremost I want more time for myself and to recharge my batteries. And of course there are a few things that bother me – but they are part of life like stumbling blocks. When I introduce myself to the group of three women and say that I want to get more clarity on a few issues, but that I am basically very fulfilled and satisfied, Leni just smiles at me.

​When Leni is 10 years old, her father commits suicide. She falls into a deep and painful pit. Because she is always the cheerful one in the family, she tries to make everyone happy, but in doing so she buries her own grief and sadness. She continues to play the role of the one who gives courage. Her mother can't keep the children because she is so down herself. "When we found out about the incident in winter, I turned to my stepfather, who is an important confidant and friend to me. I learned from him to hold the space without saying much and to let everything happen," Leni recalls appreciatively. When she was diagnosed with clinical depression, she was immediately prescribed an antidepressant. She takes tablets that are supposed to help, but they have the opposite effect on her. She feels even less herself. Although she believes that Western medicine is important and has its value, it is one-sided and does not consider people as a whole. She is missing other layers.

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